playing god: game design, strategic networks and a theory of conciousness

I've been trying to figure out a way of representing a game's internal structure for a long time. That's come quite far, and I've got what I reckon is pretty much a complete system which - should I ever get down to the gargantuan task of writing an accessible and comprehensive guide thereto - would possibly make some videogame academics stroke their beards and declare "Hm."

Today, though, I realised that every thought I'd expended in this pursuit was valuable to an older and far more sweeping goal of mine that I had temporarily abandoned: understanding intelligence.

  • Current Music
    the faint strains of live8 from the other room

business plane don't fly

I just can't seem to care about this business plan.

It's due in in 9 hours, it's worth 20cp - that's around 9% of my degree, or something - and I'm currently, uh, about half done. I still don't feel any particular sense of urgency, just faint, morbid curiosity. I'm even vaguely aware that I'm utterly screwed if I don't get it done, printed, bound and handed in on time. I just don't care.

  • Current Mood
    confused bemused


I'm exploring my options post-uni.

Am I willing to take a 30% (or more) pay cut in order to work on games, in addition to more stress, worse working conditions and bugger all job security? It's difficult. I feel my love of games is being exploited, and I keep remembering the saying...

There are two paths to happiness in life. One is to make a living doing what you love best; the other is to find a living that supports you doing what you love the rest of the time.

I'm in the lucky position of having the *option* of doing the former, at least. Still, I'm finding it impossible to reach a decision, as I'm completely in two minds about the situation. I really want to learn how the games industry ticks and get involved in it. Games are a really exciting method of artistic expression to me and going into games development would be the shortest route to gaining the skills and contacts I need to improve in this respect. However, it's not the only route by any means, and as far as any other measure is concerned it's the dumbest decision I could be making.

I guess I'll have to go round potential gamedev employers and see if I can find any I can trust to treat me professionally. I've heard there are a few, but it's a minority. If I can't, I could see myself finding a career in a more mature industry and continuing game development as a hobby for now rather than a profession. It seems like all I can do at the moment is sort out my CV, run some applications and ask pointy questions like "do you pay overtime?" at interviews. If the answers are good, that's cool. If not, I start the job search over and ignore the siren call of making shiny things happen for a living.

At least, that's how it'd happen ideally. In reality, going round the houses and then starting over like that could leave my job search taking as long as three months or so and that would be a real problem. I'd appreciate any thoughts or sage advice anyone has, I really would.
  • Current Mood
    pensive pensive

around and around

Borrowed from missing_a_chair.


You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.




















Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with

I'm confused. Come to think of it, though, any of the top four would be a good fit provided that as a Satanist I could be atheistic and compassionate. And yes, you can... take the religion out of it and pay attention, and you can get this highly mechanistic philosophy, like scientific atheism with a purpose. More realistically, though, I'd say: add the top four together and you're mostly there.

...curious. Anyways, back to my thesis. Some day soon I resolve to make actual progress.
  • Current Music
    Orbital - Halycon & On & On

Stuff, as done by me (and some random munting)

Thieved from people. You know who you are!

1. Prodded the Golden Gate Bridge. Been told to leave.
2. Driven a digger, albeit briefly.
3. Beaten 90 seconds on Minesweeper Expert level. Deleted Minesweeper.
4. Strung up computer keyboards from a stair-rail and punched them repeatedly, after missing with a golf club one time too many. (Damn you, golf club. Damn you.)
5. Been utterly useless in a music quiz, and subsequently won one. I'm still in shock, though it's slight.
6. Used a fully functional PC as a clock.
7. Jammed on a Clifton rooftop with a portable amp. Alas, we couldn't find a long enough extension cable.

And now for the easy ones:
8. Slept through a day. That's midnight to midnight.
9. Built up a collection of probably over 300 coke cans (we never counted) and built things with them.
10. Got enough calories from Dr. Pepper to survive essentially without food for a week.
(10b. Recovered completely thereafter.)

Bonus! Though not really relevant, I just thought of this.
Yes, it's *that dream*Collapse )
After a while, I will nod once to the machines now deep in silent thought. I will don my disguise one last time and turn back to the desert. Then... my message will spread like a virus.
  • Current Music
    look to sky


Google still hasn't hit my new website, which is irritating. So, here, Google, hit this up a little. Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair.

Exams blow... and yet still seem to be going rather well.